Ready for a little story time?

Grab your coffee, because I wanna let you in on a secret, after working closely with men over the last decade + getting the inside scoop on their relationship psyche. 

Most so-called “commitment-phobic” men  - especially 45yrs + (including plenty of married ones - they "committed" on paper only, not emotionally or spiritually) aren’t actually afraid of commitment. 

They’re afraid of being FULLY SEEN. 👀

They often chase validation through emotional affairs or one-night stands (with women who are just as terrified of real intimacy, who'll settle for breadcrumbs + quick hits) - addicted to the highs + lows of secret attention, intermittent reinforcement or sneaky, illicit activities. 

Not because they don’t want love, but because they ache for it.

However, the shame of being fully witnessed, over an extended period of time - flaws, wounds, everything - feels unbearable.

So they pick situations where they can “hide”. 

Sometimes it’s casual; sometimes it’s with a long-term “partner” who's equally as intimacy-avoidant + also lives in denial (I use the term "partner" loosely, because it doesn't mean healthy; both people are complicit in the dysfunction). 

Underneath the chase is often a huge Mother Wound. Choosing partners similar to a cold, controlling and/or cruel Mother, where the emotional bond feels familiar...but a strong sexual bond is non-existent. 

Real (deep) intimacy with a conscious, erotically-empowered woman threatens to expose decades of buried insecurity + unworthiness.

The cure isn’t running.

It’s devoted partnership.

Letting unconditional love alchemize fear + shame.

Choosing to go + stay where you will be seen (and that starts with seeing your own patterns more clearly - including in your current relationship, if you're in one).

The answer isn't always to split up + go find someone new. You take you (and your karmic habits) wherever you go...so start where you are, with the mirror currently in front of you. 

❤️‍🔥 Real intimacy starts when hiding stops. 

The only way out of a fear of commitment is by going all in.

This is the work I do with clients: devotion as the antidote to avoidance + distraction.

Learning to be with the discomfort of exposure + *remain fully present* (not numb out or sabotage genuine connection) when love gets real + allllllll your sh*t starts to surface.

NOTE: This convo applies to all genders obviously + most of the women coming to me are just as avoidant, actually -  though, in my experience, it’s often men 45+ who come with these patterns most directly. And underneath, there’s almost always a layer of sexual shame - whether it shows up as hypersexual tendencies or some other sexual distortion. 

The medicine for fear of commitment? Sustained visibility. 

Deep intimacy begins with witnessing yourself - with love instead of judgment.

Then choosing to enter the fire of a devoted, conscious relationship + being brave enough to stay, especially through the sometimes-agonizing alchemical burn of unconditional love.

That's where this kind of partnership becomes sacred ground. 

After almost 15 years on this Sacred Intimacy path, I can promise you:

👉🏼 the only way out is through. 🔥

No jumping around for novelty. No avoiding the boredom of the "mundane" (remember: chop wood, carry water - before AND after enlightenment). No chasing constant highs, always in search of sexier, greener grass. 

It's choosing to root down + stay with something (or someone) long enough for the illusions to burn away, so truth can arise + wisdom can bloom from those ashes. 🌹🪽

🖤 After many months of focusing on my group offering, it's finally that time again...

I’m opening two spots only for private 1:1 mentorship through the end of the year (open to all genders).

👉🏼 Get the details here

(All offers/rates will rise in the new year, so if you’ve felt the pull, now's your time.)

This is the most intimate, nuanced way to work with me - for anyone who’s done settling for half-assed, surface-level connection or loving from behind a mask.

I know you want a "holy-shit-this-exists"?! kind of love that blows your conventional expectations out of the water. 

But you have to be the one to create it (and have the karma for it). We can change this together.

Private Mentorship is where you learn to stay when it gets uncomfortable - to let intimacy break you open instead of break you down

True union means shadow integration, too.

Big love,

Ali xx